Why Ride The Train When You Could Take a Rollercoaster?

A woman stretching in preparation for a run. Oh, yeah, stretching; that's important too!

I’m too fat. My knees are weak. I don’t have the right shoes. Or my personal favourite: my boobs are too big. You name ‘em, I’ve used most of these lines as an excuse to avoid jogging.




I just never understood the appeal. Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest, your legs get heavier with each stride and as you gasp for air, it feels like you’re drowning, yet the only vestige of moisture in close proximity is the sweat seeping from your forehead.

For all these reasons, I stuck to walking. But there’s something about runners and joggers that make you want to try it too. Maybe it’s because seasoned runners make it look easy. Perhaps it’s the fact that so many people find it to be an effective form of exercise. I just think it’s that runners seem way cooler than walkers.

Walkers, in my opinion, are associated with retired, 60-something women who don velvety-textured sweat suits and walk with their elbows at 90-degree angles, swaying mini dumbbells up and down like their lives depend on it. You know the type I speak of.

I’m in my 20s. I don’t own a velvety sweat suit (but if I did I definitely would not get purple -- too many Barney jokes waiting to happen). And… ok, so I do own dumbbells, but the day I go traipsing with them down the street is the day I join a bridge club and start paging through pamphlets about Mediterranean cruises for the “young at heart”.

Runners, now they’re the “cool crowd” of the pro-exercise fraternity. Cyclists and squash players too, but they’re on a whole other level. So I thought I’d give it a shot. The first time, I just went walking around my neighbourhood and tried running from one corner to another every five minutes or so.

It was awful. It was exhausting. Had I even known until then that I had a mild case of asthma? Turns out I didn’t, but before you start judging me, also consider the fact that I tried again. And then again. That alone is worth a “well, at least she’s not a quitter”, right?

I’m still very new to jogging, or even the idea of it, yet I already enjoy it more than walking. There’s something liberating about running. You’re concentrating on your breathing and strides, so everything else that’s bothering you gets pushed to the back of your mind.

It seems as if you’re covering so much more distance, seeing more and passing things by (they’re not passing you by). And in general, everything’s just faster and a bit more thrilling. I mean, why ride the train when you could take a rollercoaster?

I’m not saying I’m officially a jogger, but I’m giving it a chance. Besides, how cool could the “cool crowd” possibly be without me? Hahaha! I’m kidding.

I’ll update soon to let you know how it goes.

Leila

By the way, here's an example. This tracksuit isn't velvet, but it nevertheless channels Barney to a freakish degree. (It's Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester in Glee.)